What goes on in the Suzuki Household
by Hibiki's Echo
Summary: What goes on in the Suzuki Household? This is the answer! Hilarity ensues as Hibiki and the Dynasty Warriors cast come together! Maybe some SW characters too! With a narrator talking in the story what else do you want?
1. Ice-Cream Thief!

What goes on in the Suzuki Household

Chapter 1: Ice-Cream Thief!

**A:N: **Hi this came right into my head! Anyhow let's go!

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, only the house and plot.**

* * *

In the mansion of Hibiki Suzuki, it was surprisingly quiet. Everyone simply was in sleepy state of laziness, due to the boiling heat... Everyone just lied on the couch fanning themselves off under the AC, feeling the cool breeze.

" Ugh... Man it's so hot... Hey Biki-Chan can you turn up the AC?" Bao Sanniang asked, in a slow weak tone.

" OK..." The boy with violet eyes replied. He grabbed the beige remote and pressed a button.

Beep!

" Ah... That feels so good!" Bao Sanniang exclaimed.

" Hold on I'll go get some ice-cream!" Hibiki remarked as he went to the kitchen. His footsteps making a quiet crumple under the carpet.

At the kitchen Hibiki went rummaging through the ENORMOUS freezer, looking for the sweet, cold, delicious delight.

" Dammit, where is that ice-cream!" Hibiki thought aloud as he threw out pies and meat. Soon the entire freezer was completely cleared out of food. Hibiki stood there... As if all of his color faded away...

There was a complete silence throughout the house. No noise, not even the sound of a cricket. Just utter silence.

" WHO THE -bleep- ATE MY ICE-CREAM?" Everything started shaking, it was as if an earthquake hit the core of the planet!

"Woah! Biki-Chan!" Bao Sanniang came rushing into the kitchen, looking quite dizzy.

" Whoever ate my -bleep-ing ice-cream, is so to get one -bleep-ing big, beating, that they will so -bleep-ed up for months with -bleep- ing brick up their lowlife, -bleep-ing ass! " Hibiki ranted, with a huge use of uncharacteristic swearing.

His eyes were practically on fire, and he had veins popping out of everywhere. He basically blowing steam out. He was storming around the kitchen.

"Calm down Biki-Chan, it's only ice-cream..." Bao Sanniang scolded.

Hibiki opened his mouth and...

**THIS HAS BEEN CENSORED DUE TO VERY, _VERY, __VERY,_ HEAVY SWEARING. PLEASE WAIT AS WE COVER THE BABY'S EARS**.

"OH NO YOU DID-NT! YOU SON OF -

**THIS HAS BEEN CENSORED DUE TO VERY, _VERY, __VERY,_ HEAVY SWEARING. PLEASE WAIT AS WE COVER THE BABY'S EARS AGAIN.**

Hibiki was in the dark, corner, whimpering out of fear as a dark aura surrounded him. What did Bao Sanniang do?

* * *

A day later, when Hibiki was all better and not traumatized any more.. THANKS SANNIANG!

"YOU WELCOME, NARRATOR!"

Xiahou Ba and Hibiki were at the kitchen bench discussing what to do.

" Hey? Nii-San?" Xiahou Ba asked the teenager with violet eyes.

" Yeah what?" Hibiki answered, while having a popsicle in his mouth.

"You found the ice-cream theif?"

"No... I gave up... I mean it was just ice-cream right? No need to spaz over it."

HYPOCRITE!

"Shut up, Narrator!" Hibiki retorted.

"Anyway..., so you gave up?"

"Yeah pretty much..."

"Well, that's good, because I actually stole the ice-cream, so I'm glad you feel that way." Xiahou Ba said with a carefree smile.

Hibiki however looked like a bull about to charge, with flaming red eyes. He had dark, purple, menacing aura surrounding him as well.

"I-I was just kidding..." Xiahou Ba nervously lied afraid of what Hibiki would do to him.

" Oh good! I'm glad! For a minute there I thought you were serious!"

" Phew..." Xiahou wiped a sweat off his brow.

"IS THAT WHAT YOU THOUGHT I WOULD SAY? " Hibiki turned into the vicious monster he was before.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Wait? Was that a response of just those over exaggerated no's?

" Help me!"

Never mind.

All that could be heard was the pained screams of Xiahou Ba at the wrath of Hibiki Suzuki. Now remember kids, never, ever, steal ice-cream from Hibiki, especially not the bubblegum flavor.

* * *

**A:N:** This is a bunch of fic-lets. Just a few bits and pieces here and there. Nothing too special. Just randomness :D. Review please!

P.S. Yes I used bleeps for comedic purposes, sue me.

~HIBIKI~


	2. Yaoi Fangirls err Boys

What goes in the Suzuki Household

Yaoi Fangirls err... Boys...

**A:N: **Hai Hai! Review please! ~

* * *

All was well, in the Suzuki Mansion Number 2... if I said that I would be lying.

Just not on the bottom floor. Right now Lu Xun is going crazy with fire while Sima Zhao was trying to stop him.

In the living room, Hibiki was snacking on an vanilla ice-cream sundae while watching a romantic comedy, using the huge flatscreen TV, on the beige couch with Hanbei Takenaka and his so called "little brother" Xiahou Ba.

I mean really? You guys don't look anything alike and Xiahou Ba is easygoing, klutzy and somewhat naive while Hibiki is a bi-polar, deretsun with a inferiorty complex and scary dark side.

"I do not have an inferiorty complex! And we think of each other of family!" Hibiki yelled.

Wait a romantic comedy? Really Hibiki? Really?

Hibiki was blushing madly, in a deep crimson red as he rubbed the back of his neck. "W-we-well... I-I... Th-the w-was n-nothing... Sh-shut up!" Hibiki retorted clearly embarassed.

"Aww... Your so cute when your like this!" Hanbei said affectionetly, as he hugged Hibiki closely to him. Hibiki was too flustered to say anything as just slowly relaxed in Hanbei's arms.

Xiahou Ba was somewhat in a daze, as if he had no cares at all. Wait...

_Hmm... Nii-San and Hanbei are so cute together... I wonder have they done this and.. Hah... Wait... what am I thinking? Gah! I'm such a pervert! _

Damn right you are! Naughty naughty... thinking about your brother and his partner like that!

"Quit reading my thoughts..." Xiahou Ba muttered under his breath.

"Huh? Did you say something Itouto?" Hibiki asked with dots for eyes. How clueless is this guy again?

"N-no! I didn't, nothing at all! Hehe..." Xiahou Ba denied nervously.

"Okay then." Hibiki went back to the comedy.

Then came the epic ending of the romantic comedy, where the guy confesses his undying love for the love of his life.

Sounds like some odrinary romantic comedy...

"No! Stop! No I am not going to kiss you! Get over it!" Hibiki yelled, trying to pry Hanbei of him, but being on a couch with three people on it made it pretty hard.

"C'mon just one... please! I know I'm an awesome kisser!" Hanbei joked around.

"Let me go! Let me go! Hanbei!" Hibiki yelled once again.

"Fine then! I'll do this instead! Haha!" Hanbei started tickling Hibiki, hopefully not trying to kill him with laughter.

"Hahaha... S-stop.. Hahaha i-it! Hahaha... N-now haha H-hanbei!" Hibiki managed to say between laughs.

"Magic word! Say it!" Hanbei commanded, with a michevious grin on his face.

"N-never! Hahahaha!" Hibiki retorted.

"I'll keep this up! And I won't stop!"

"J-jerk! Hahahaha! I love you... Hahaha! Th-there! Haha! Stop!" Hibiki kept on laughing.

"Okay, okay... By the way, your cuter when you laugh."

"Ugh... Man... I'm going to get you!" Hibiki immeadietly started chasing the poor strategist around. Hmm.. Where's Xiahou Ba?

Xiahou Ba was on the beige couch being a witness on it all. His eyes were horizontal lines and he had a blush on his face.

_Nii-San and Hanbei.. That's so cute... Aww... I CAN'T TAKE IT!_

Yaoi overload?

"Hi Xiahou Ba-San!" Daqiao came out of nowhere a greeted the brunette. Either that or she came falling from the roof.

No response.

"Xiahou Ba? Hello?" Daqiao greeted again, waving a hand in front of Xiahou Ba's face.

No response.

Daqiao grabbed a megaphone and took a deep breath.

This can't be good... Cover your ears!

"XIAHOU BA! CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Daqiao screamed making the house shake.

Waaah! Daqiao! You didn't have to go that far!

"Ugh... Yeah... I can..." Xiahou Ba answered cas he emerged from behind the couch.

"What's with you? I know you might be klutzy but your never like this." Daqiao asked in a motherly tone.

"Huh? Oh it's nothing..." Xiahou Ba answered as a shade of red emerged on his face.

"Xiahou Ba... You can say it now or never... But this is your last chance." Daqiao reminded in the same tone as before.

Xiahou Ba sighed. "W-well, I-I have a thing for yaoi..." He confessed with a big shade red on his face.

Yeah... Naughty yaoi... Hehehe...

"Narrator sir, I mean, lady, I mean person! Shut up," Daqiao told the narrator then she turned back to Xiahou Ba "What's wrong about that?"

"I-I d-dunno... I guess I'm not proud of it..." Xiahou Ba whimpered.

"Xiaoqiao had the same problem... It's okay, no one is going to judge you, it's fine. I know a certain some one who has yuri problems." Daqiao reassured.

"R-really? Thank you Daqiao-San." Xiahou Ba thank and shot off a smile.

"No problem." Daqiao smiled back.

* * *

In the quite big living room Hibiki was snacking on some ice-cream as always, Bao Sanniang was on the computer and Xiahou Ba was on the beige couch reading a book about lucid dreaming.

"Huh? Why does the computer history Yaoi Anime?" Bao Sanniang asked aloud.

"That would be me." Xiahou Ba said as looked up from his book with a piece of pocky in his mouth.

"You like yaoi too? OMG!" Bao Sanniang fangirled.

"I know right! It's so cute!" Xiahou Ba also fangirled...err boyed..

"Do you like yaoi?" Bao Sanniang asked Hibiki in a maniacal way with a quite scary look on her face.

Hibiki simply tip-toed out of the living room, trying to avoid their crazy gaze.

Uh-oh... This can't be good...

* * *

"RUN! IT'S ATTACK OF THE YAOI FANGIRL! AND BOY!" Hibiki yelled across the mansion.

"What have I done?" Daqiao asked.

Needless to say total havoc and chaos consumed the mansion as everyone was screaming or running like an idiot.

"Do YOU like yaoi Narrator?" Xiahou Ba asked.

Uh-Oh, Narrator is out... PEACE!

* * *

**A:N:** Yeah, I said randomness right? So you happy? Reivew on what I can improve okay? And yes, yaoi is also for randomness purposes or romance but not too much yaoi. And how do you like the narrator?


	3. Bao Sanniang's Room!

What Goes on in the Suzuki Household

Chapter 3 : Bao Sanniang's Room

**A:N: **Hello, and this is a parody of Haruhi-Chan Episode 23!

* * *

Outside the window was Hanbei Takenaka peacefully taking a nice nap, on a calm spring day on the soft grass.

Inside the window was Bao Sanniang, sitting down on a couch

What is this? A romance chapter?

"Hi everyone, thanks for tuning in for another episode of my talk show "Bao Sannaing's Room". Let's get things started by introducing our guest for today, he calls himself a horrible virus, with contagious laughter, please meet Xiahou Ba!" Sanniang said cheerfully.

Now I get it...

Then a loud bang came through the door, and in came Xiahou Ba yelling "THAT'S A LIE! I'D NEVER CALL MYSELF SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

WOAH! What the hell!? Well, looks like this going to be nothing but OOC Xiahou Ba...

Sanniang immeadieatly hid behind the couch she was sitting on and started to panic, shaking and saying, "Woah! He's only just got here and now he's tearing into me! What should I do? I can't keep up with him!"

"You haven't got this whole TV hosting thing down yet have you?" Xiahou Ba replied.

"Yeah, but I'll figure it out though... Waiter, can we have two coffees please?" Sannaing asked Hibiki in a waiter outfit.

"Okay!" He obliged and went off to go make some coffee.

"What's with the waiter? I thought this was your room..." Xiahou Ba questioned.

Sannaing was lazing on the table with a tired yet content look on her face as she said, "Let's go back to the show or something..."

"Your too laid back..." Xiahou Ba critisiezed

"Okay then Xiahou Ba, let's start the ball rolling with a few hard hitting questions." In a flash, Sanniang was with her hands together, laying her head on them, with her back straight.

"O-okay... Shoot..."

The both looked outside the window for no apparent reason seeing Hibiki chasing Hanbei in a loving way, on the grass meadow.

What the... Wasn't he making coffee?

" I can't think of anything to ask you." Sanniang rubbed the back of her head with a nonchalant smile...

"You're kidding?" Xiahou Ba replied then he exploded, "Pretend you never met me of something, at least make some kind of effort to ask me a question woman!"

Sanniang went hiding behind the couch again, shaking saying, "The kids today have such short fuses... Scary..."

LOLWAT?

"Oh come on! You're way scarier than I am! Get serious!"

"Okay fine, I guess I wasn't taking it seriously. I promise to be serious from now on."

"It's about time, let's do this!"

Sanniang slammed her hands on the table and annouced, "I'm going to take my show so seriously, I'm not get let my guest get a word in at all!"

But that's not a talk show! It's a monolouge!

"Yeah sure whatever! Our next guest is a good friend of what's his name, Mr Zhou Tai!" Sanniang yelled, loudly and brushed off the narrator's comment.

"You haven't asked me anything and you're bringing out another guest?" Xiahou Ba asked.

"Hello..." Zhou Tai, greeted in his gruff, deep voice.

"So Zhou Tai, do you have any juicy, gossipy stories to tell the audience about Xiahou Ba?" Sanniang asked in a hopeful, eager manner.

"Yes, I might..."

The once again looked out the window for no apparent reason, as they saw Hanbei hugging Hibiki, lovingly whsipering things which probably were stuff like I love you...

Really? More yaoi?

"There really aren't any..." Zhou Tai said suddenly.

"Ha! I knew it!" Xiahou Ba, commented defiantly.

"Xiahou Ba, you're boring-est guest, I've ever had!" Sanniang yelled at Xiahou Ba angrily.

What now you're blaming the guest?

"Okay, Xiahou Ba, help us out, make something up..." Sanniang commanded lazily.

"It's up to me do it?" Xiahou Ba, asked shocked.

Xiahou Ba tried looking out the window to try to get out of it, but was interuppted by Sanniang with a random sundae in her hand.

"Biki-Chan can't save you now. It's the third time we've done this window bit" Sanniang said.

"Okay, I'm sorry I don't have any stories to tell! And stop eating!" Xiahou Ba admitted loudly.

"I didn't want to do this but you left me with no choice... It's time to bring out my secret weapon..." Sanniang muttered, putting her hand on her chin.

Secret what?

All of a sudden Daqiao came out with a clipboard, putting a hand on her hip, looking out to the right in a bishoujo like fashion. "I've prepared a scenario, using every contact in my wide range of contacts. It's an amazing story about a bunch of friends who stay at huge mansion, who are warriors and high schoolers! It's all you could ever want in a show!"

Things are gonna get complicated now...

"Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! Great work Daqiao!" Sanniang praised the mature teenager.

"Oh, I'm just happy to help!" Daqiao said with a smile.

_I with that story everyday!_ Xiahou Ba thought.

Sanniang grabbed a few cards and held them up like a fan. She had a cat smile on her face. "Now Xiahou Ba, pick one and no peeking!" Sanniang chimed.

Just pick one blind?

Xiahou Ba looked at the bunch of papers. He moved his hands around, placing his hand on one on the far left. "O-OK... this one," Xiahou Ba grabbed the paper and read it. It read "Zhou Tai's Awesome Ice-Cream Food Criticism!"

"This has nothing to do with me!" Xiahou Ba exclaimed annoyed.

"Yum..." Zhou Tai said aloud as he took another bite.

"Stop eating!"

* * *

**A:N:** Yu~p Xiahou Ba is definetly OOC, mostly because he had to play Kyon. Okay~ Review please?

~HIBIKI~


End file.
